California Highway Pirates

Mission Statement

California Highway Pirates (CHP) is a state sponsored terrorist group dedicated to rob and harass innocent motorists on the highways of California. While it's true that you pay us, make no mistake, WE are the boss.

To avoid us, stay off the highways. We give "speeding tickets" to anyone, regardless of speed. We know we are always right, so don't complain. If you tell us that you were watching your speed and know that you weren't speeding, we will just tell you that you are wrong, because we are always right. The Judge believes us, because we are always right.

Don't expect us to be nice, we're terrorists. You can't escape us, we're everywhere and we have fast cars, radios, guns, handcuffs, and there are a lot of us.

We are a self-protecting gang. If you file a complaint, it must be to us and we will burry it, so don't bother.

We are not here to enforce laws, we are here to help California balance its state budget.

Besides, walking is good exercise.

California Highway Pirates
Let's work together to stop these pirates!

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This page last updated: Saturday, 06-Jul-2013 00:59:38 EDT

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